Writing -- Baby Talk: Danger zone!

The following article featured in a weekly column on parenting in the Women on Wednesday supplement of The Evening Echo, one of Ireland's leading regional daily newspapers. It appeared in the 12 May 2004 issue.

Instinct is an amazing thing when you think about it. A series of automatic behaviours and responses that are hard coded into the genes - things you don't need to learn… you just know. In humans learned responses quickly override much of our instinctive behaviour. Nevertheless, all babies are born with these built in cues that they inherit from their parents.

One of these is an inherent sense of danger. But while older children and adults have learned to avoid danger, babies seem to see it as something that needs to be explored. Why is it that, when placed on the floor in the middle of an assortment of items, a baby will always make a bee-line for the one with the serrated edge?

This trait, while apparent at an early age, is simply not a problem while the baby is stationary, but once they start to move under their own steam it becomes a nightmare.

Our little one is on the verge of crawling, and has started making her first tentative forays into the world of self-locomotion. She's having varying degrees of success, and it can be both hilarious and frustrating to watch her. She gets up on all fours, shuffles forward a few feet, and then collapses in a heap again. Still, at least it's progress: last week she was stuck in reverse. While her face showed a clear determination to reach the stuffed toy we'd strategically placed in front of her, her little arms and legs simply wouldn't get with the programme. The harder she tried the further away she moved.

However, travelling backwards seemed to present no obstacle when it came to getting herself into trouble. If we took our eyes off her for a second her danger-radar kicked in and she reversed herself over to the fireplace, or under the fish tank for a closer look at the electrical sockets. She never moves that fast when I'm actually watching her, but if I look away she'll be somewhere else by the time I look back. If I didn't know better I'd swear she was getting up and running.

At first the twins thought it was a great laugh when their little sister started to scoot around, but as she gets more proficient they're not so sure it's a good idea. They're beginning to realise that a mobile baby sister can get into all their stuff, and while they're happy to share one or two select items, like most three-year-olds they can be very possessive about their things. All of which puts an extra burden on eagle-eyed Mum and Dad to be super-vigilant of territorial disputes over property rights.

We went through the whole rigmarole of moving everything up out of reach with the twins, and I don't relish the thought of having to do it again. But with the baby putting absolutely everything she gets her hands on into her mouth it's going to be the only way forward.

So, no more casual emptying of euro-shrapnel out of the pockets onto low tables or sideboards, no more putting mugs of hot coffee down by the side of the armchair, no more leaving books, magazines, newspapers or anything else within three feet of the ground.

For the next year or so everything in our house will have to move up a level… and pretty soon we'll be forced to put those annoying little hook thingamajigs on all of the kitchen presses. I really despise those things!