Writing -- Baby Talk: I'm Still Important

The following article featured in a weekly column on parenting in the Women on Wednesday supplement of The Evening Echo, one of Ireland's leading regional daily newspapers. It appeared in the 23 June 2004 issue.

The twins were going through their collection of storybooks earlier today, and picked out one that I haven't seen in a while. It's a beautifully illustrated little book that was a present from a friend of ours when my wife was pregnant. Called I'm Still Important! it charts the story of a young girl named Rachel, and the challenges she faces with the arrival of a new baby brother.

Told from Rachel's point of view the story begins with Mum breaking the news that a new little brother or sister is on the way. Rachel is excited by mum's growing bump, the baby moving, helping to decorate the nursery and picking baby names. But she's worried too: how will the new baby affect her, and will her relationship with her parents suffer?

Once the baby arrives home, the story shifts to the budding bond between Rachel and her new brother, and touches on her frustration and anger as she discovers that the baby now consumes the bulk of her parents' time. She then talks about all the ways that she helps her parents to take care of her little brother, and finally concludes that, as a bigger family, they all have even more fun now.

It's an adorable book, and I remember it being very useful when we were explaining to the girls, then two-and-a-half, that a new baby brother or sister was on the way. The arrival of a new baby dramatically changes the dynamics of a family, and has a major impact on the lives of existing siblings. Mum and Dad are suddenly rushed off their feet seeing to the exacting demands of a helpless new person, and consequently bestow less attention on the rest of the family. Even when they do get time-out they're too tired to play… it's just not fair!

Explaining to very young children that just because you have less time to spend with them it doesn't mean that you love them any less is a tough one. Books like this one are life-savers when it comes to getting complex messages across to children. Portraying events in a story based around a member of their peer group really does communicate ideas effectively, and having lots of colourful pictures helps too. It's amazing how even really young children will assimilate information if it's presented in a fun way and in language that they can understand.

We had very few complications with the twins when their sister arrived. Part of that can be put down to the twin thing: the fact that they always have each other to lean on. But I think its more that we involved them in as much as possible from the start, and in no small part to the role of "I'm still important" - which was a regular bedtime story in the run-up to our daughters birth.

Now, almost one year on, the twins still adore their little sister. They "help" us at every opportunity, keeping her entertained and even trying to teach her to walk (counterproductive as far as any real walking is concerned, but they feel involved, and that's important). With the baby increasingly mobile now we are encountering the occasional territorial issue as she meddles with the twins' stuff, but by and large the summary of events in "I'm still important" rings true… as a bigger family we really are having more fun than we did before.

I'm Still Important - A new baby is written by Jen Green, illustrated by Mike Gordon and published by Hodder Wayland, an imprint of Hodder Children's Books.